How To Help Your Partner Deal With Their Depression
For better or for worse. This is not just a phrase. It’s a powerful and meaningful commitment. It’s also an acceptance. Life is not static. Sometimes, rough patches occur — for example, in the form of mental illness. So, how do you live up to your vow if your partner suddenly struggles with depression?
With about 16 million Americans living with depression, this scenario is not exactly rare. Without some hard work, patience, and self-education, having a depressed partner can leave you feeling isolated and resentful. Fortunately, there are proven steps for navigating this situation and maintaining your deep bond.
First: Get Informed About Depression
Speaking of self-education, you’ll need to learn more — a lot more — about depression. Yes, of course, there is sadness and hopelessness. But there are other common symptoms, e.g.
Losing interest in activities that once gave them pleasure (including sex)
Rumination over the past
Expressions of guilt, shame, and worthlessness
Unexplained physical symptoms may include weight gain or loss, fatigue, and sleep disturbances
Anxiety
Loss of focus and concentration
Difficulty making decisions
Agitation and anger
Thoughts of self-harm, death, dying, and suicide
What you’ll learn firsthand, however, is that symptoms like this are not static. Your partner’s mood and presentation can vary from day to day or week to week. This can keep you off-guard and very stressed. Being informed about symptoms is an excellent starting point on your journey of depression self-education.
Other Ways to Help Your Partner Deal With Their Depression
Encourage Them to Seek Treatment
Depression is more than you and your partner can handle alone. They will need to consult with mental health professionals and you can play an important role in making sure this happens. Talk to your partner about the symptoms you see and share with them what you’ve learned. Let them know you’ll help them find treatment and keep up with appointments.
Set Small Goals
Depression can make even the tiniest acts feel daunting. Keep them focused on small goals. Break down larger tasks into smaller steps and celebrate their successes. Refine your listening skills to let them know you are present with them. You will have to develop incredible patience and compassion, so make certain you’re practicing self-care throughout this process.
Make Your Home a Safe Space
Do your best to create a supportive environment for both of you. By doing so, you are reminding them that you care and you’ll get through this ordeal together. Suggestions:
Help them stay on track with appointments and medications
Plan healthy meals and eat together
Get daily exercise as a couple
Create a day-to-day routine to help both of you
Do things together — especially any type of social interactions
Point out whatever they are doing well and whatever progress you witness
A Big Step: Recognize the Warning Signs of Suicidal Ideation
If your partner has been diagnosed with a major depressive disorder, you can never rule out the risk of suicide. Therefore, stay ever-aware of the red flags like them bringing up suicide in conversation. Other possible warning signs:
Hopelessness becomes overwhelming to them
Their mood swings become more volatile
Withdrawing from other people — including you
Not keeping up with their everyday routines
Behaving more recklessly with seemingly less concern for their well-being
Purchasing possible means for a suicide attempt (e.g. gun, pills, etc.)
Saying goodbye to people and giving away belongings that matter to them
And, as they say, “getting their affairs in order”
If all of the above feels like a lot, well… that’s because it is. You do not and should not try to handle it all alone. Build a support system and be sure to reach out to a mental health practitioner for help.
