Men’s Issues

Are You A Man Struggling To Understand What Masculinity Means To You?

Are you a Christian man who feels at sea in your life but ashamed to admit you’re troubled? When anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or relationship problems surface, do you try to handle them by yourself? Do you wish you could speak with a faith-based therapist who understands the challenges that men face today?

Perhaps you’re trying to live up to the expectations of being a strong leader at home, work, and within the church, but inwardly you’re suffering. Rather than feeling confident in your various roles, you’ve lost your way. If you’re burnt out and experiencing a crisis of faith, you might be thinking about transitioning out of ministry work altogether and moving into a secular role.

You Might Have Trouble Admitting Something’s Wrong

You may have convinced yourself that to remain strong you can never let your guard down. Nevertheless, you could be struggling with anxiety and depression that stems from unresolved childhood trauma, the death of a loved one, or marital and family stress. Or maybe challenges at work have led to performance anxiety or impostor syndrome when you don’t feel worthy of fulfilling your duties. Perhaps you have a short fuse around others or become defensive easily but don’t understand where your anger is coming from.

You may not want to slow down long enough to assess how you’re feeling, but ignoring your pain won’t make it go away, either. Fortunately, counseling that is customized for men can address the reluctance you may have to seek help. As a counselor for men, I understand the male psyche and can help you lower your defenses so that healing can happen.

Men Are More Likely To Resist Seeking Help For Mental Health

Although 14 percent of American men experience some type of mental health challenge, many of them don’t seek counseling. Data from a National Health Interview found that “of the men surveyed who experienced daily symptoms of depression or anxiety, only 1 in 4 spoke to a professional.” What’s more, “the suicide rate for men is four times higher than it is for women, despite most research showing lower rates of depression in men than in women.”

As men, we are often raised to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We fear that being emotionally vulnerable could be interpreted as “feminine” when in fact acknowledging our emotions and showing sensitivity is what makes us human. And yet throughout our culture, a machismo attitude that enforces physical and mental toughness remains prevalent.

Toxic Masculinity Can Prevent Us From Seeking The Help We Need

When we fall into the trap that as men, we are expected to be forceful leaders who favor strength over vulnerability, we perpetuate toxic masculinity. Rather than our masculine traits benefitting society at large, they have the potential of promoting misogyny and homophobia. In its most extreme version, toxic masculinity can fuel domestic violence and sexual assault. With the risk of toxic masculinity swirling around us, how do we navigate what it means to be male in today’s world?

When we are under stress to fulfill our roles as husbands, church leaders, and fathers, we may struggle with depression and anxiety but hold onto the idea that we can handle it on our own. But it’s okay to ask for help.

Counseling for men offers supportive guidance to help you process the challenges you face, whether it be self-esteem, career, self-care, anger management, or work-life balance.

Counseling for Men Provides You With The Support You May Not Realize You Need

Sometimes it isn’t until you let the protective walls you’ve built around yourself come down that you understand how beneficial talking to someone can be. Therapy for men provides you with a safe space to reflect upon and process the intersections between your faith, masculinity, and mental health.

Building upon foundational truths, life principles, and practical insights from scripture, men’s counseling invites you to examine your beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses to events in your life. This is done with genuine empathy and compassion without judgment, guilt, or shame.

What To Expect In Sessions

Throughout our sessions together, you will gain a better understanding of God's plan for you within your relationships, marriage, family, and career. You will come away from therapy with a greater sense of who you are, what you represent, and what the biblical definition of manhood is. As a result, you will be more confident in your decisions, more secure in your masculinity, and courageously show up in the areas of your life that matter most.

Therapy for men is not a place to put up a front or hide. You will be expected to show up with honesty and transparency, prepared to talk about your thoughts and feelings. Breaking down walls of defensiveness and allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable is how healing and transformation occur.

The Modalities I Use

I utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you adopt a belief system that promotes both short- and long-term mental health. CBT can help you replace your negative beliefs about how you see yourself as a man, as well as how you may perceive women.

Working from a gospel-centered perspective, we will question your notions about masculinity and broaden its definition to include showing vulnerability. Building off of foundational truths from the Bible will help you develop healthy masculinity that’s grounded in faith and challenge and replace unhelpful beliefs that may have developed over time. Our work together will also help you identify a clear and compelling life vision, establish healthy boundaries, engage in your community, and cultivate a healthy support system.

Counseling for men will help you foster self-awareness and humility to admit your limitations and ask others for help when you need it. This new openness will strengthen your relationships and allow you to be in authentic community with others. You will learn to take initiative, accept responsibility, and use your influence for the benefit of others.

You don’t have to buy the lie that you can handle everything on your own. You will be amazed at how much more manageable life is when you invite others to walk alongside, support, and celebrate you. In the same way that you need a doctor, every man needs his own mental health therapist. Taking the time to find the right one has the potential to be transformational.

But You May Wonder Whether Counseling Geared Toward Men Is Right For You…

I’ll feel ashamed or judged if I attend therapy for men.

I understand how important respect probably is to you. As men, we fight to earn respect every day, whether it’s in the barracks, the boardroom, the streets, or a cell block. Few of us would voluntarily put ourselves in a situation where we’re disrespected or perceived as weak. In some ways, it’s easier to go to extremes to maintain our image than admit fear and insecurity. But in fact, asking for and receiving support is not only respectable but necessary at times. There’s no need to feel shame or judgment admitting that you’re human after all.

Because I’m not good at expressing emotions, I can’t see how therapy to discuss men’s issues would help me.

Throughout life, you may have been conditioned to respond to stress, conflict, and other challenging situations by expressing anger or exerting control. However, this is a limited, unhealthy, and potentially dangerous expression of emotion. As humans, we are designed to experience a full range of complex emotions. With counseling for men’s issues, you will learn how to accurately identify, regulate, and express your feelings. Understanding your emotions can improve every facet of your life, including relationships, performance level, productivity, and career trajectory.

I prefer to solve my problems by myself.

We often equate achieving independence and self-sufficiency in life with success. However, none of us were designed to live solitarily or figure everything out on our own. When you choose to be interdependent, everything gets easier. Life truly is a team sport and therapy for men can be a game changer. Don't let your pride stop you from leaning on others when you’re carrying a heavy burden.