3 Tips For Explaining Your Depression And Anxiety To Your Partner
For better or for worse. That vow covers a lot of ground. But how often do you consider its meaning within the context of mental illness? Conditions like depression and anxiety can impact anyone at any time. Unlike a physical illness or injury, however, it can be much trickier to navigate such a situation.
It’s one thing to make some chicken soup when your spouse has the flu. But how do you react when, say, depression has caused them to seem detached and distant? What if anxiety temporarily leads your other half to avoid social gatherings? Needless to say, it helps to know more — much more.
3 Tips For Explaining Your Depression and Anxiety to Your Partner
Whether it's anxiety or depression (or both), explaining it to your partner requires some planning, collaboration, and commitment. To follow are three steps to keep in mind when initiating this conversation.
1. Prepare in Advance
Before broaching the topic, it is useful to make sure you know what you need, want, and expect. For starters, find out how much your partner knows about either anxiety or depression. You might be adding to their knowledge or starting from scratch. Either way, be prepared. Gather resources, statistics, and more. But mostly, let them know the unique ways this issue manifests with you.
Other factors to consider before you talk:
Get a sense of what you’re looking for. Are you seeking a particular response or type of support? What reaction would most please or displease you?
If you want the discussions to be ongoing, make that clear (and see #3 below).
Talk about your treatment and how your partner can or should be a part of it (see #2 below)
2. Explain Your Symptoms and Treatment
If you had been diagnosed with something like high blood pressure, you would probably talk about your medications, dietary changes, etc. Of course, you’d share with your partner how they can help and play a positive role. A mental illness should be treated the same way. Prepare them for possible changes in your behavior so they are not taken by surprise or left to take things personally.
As for treatment, this can vary greatly from couple to couple. It could be helpful for you to talk with your therapist about it in advance. Then, share the details and your expectations with your partner. Let them know how they can support you but — and this is crucial — ask them to be radically honest about what they feel capable of doing. This arrangement can evolve over time but do your best to establish a baseline of direct language on this subject.
3. Keep Checking In
Again, there is no blueprint here. You and your partner must decide together how to keep the conversation going in a productive way. And again, leave room for both of you to adjust and adapt. What it comes down to is that both anxiety and depression are very treatable but there is no surefire timetable. Symptoms can come and go. So, it’s best to talk frequently and openly to keep things transparent and healthy.
Your Therapist Can Be Your Co-Pilot
You have a diagnosis to process. You also have a relationship to nurture. This can feel like a tall order. Sure, there will be some rough patches but that is not always the fault of the disorder. Simply put, in a healthy relationship, this type of collaboration and communication should serve to bring you closer.
That’s why so many people choose depression therapy. Working with a skilled professional is an ideal way to negotiate all the moving parts. If you’d like some help with a scenario like this, I’d love to talk with you soon.
