4 Ways to Tell If a Man is Depressed
There are many differences between the sexes — during good times or bad. For example, consider the all-too-common mental health condition known as depression. Did you know that women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression? Did you also know that this skewed incidence could be hiding some frightening realities?
It’s widely believed that depression impacts far more men than we realize. However, since men are less likely to seek help and/or recognize symptoms, it goes undiagnosed. Since depression can result in self-harm and even suicidal ideation, it is long overdue that we all become more aware of what it looks like for men.
What Do We Mean By “Depression”?
This term can be accurately used to describe someone who is feeling sad, lonely, or very negative. But, in a clinical sense, depression designates a diagnosable mood disorder. It can have extreme symptoms. Presenting signs like this for at least two consecutive weeks is cause for concern:
Losing interest in activities that once excited you (including sex)
Fatigue
Overwhelming despair and hopelessness
Loss of concentration
Changes in appetite
Talking about or engaging in self-harm
These symptoms (among many others) can arise in men or women struggling with depression. But again, a major concern is that men mask such signs and are typically hesitant to report them. So, what should all of us be looking for?
4 Ways to Tell If a Man is Depressed
1. Anger
It’s a very male thing to respond angrily when you’re feeling bad. While women with depression may openly cry and express sadness, men often obscure the pain through angry outbursts. They are short-tempered, quick to express frustration or irritability and display disproportionate anger.
In many cases, this is an attempt to regain control. As a result, it can morph into controlling behavior. From there, it is a slippery slope toward violent and abusive behavior. Meanwhile, to most people, none of it seems to indicate that depression could be the underlying cause.
2. Risky (and Obsessive) Behaviors
This is a classic case of self-medication. Men with depression can feel numb and detached. Behaviors like this are an attempt to not only disguise the pain but also to just feel something:
Reckless driving
Engaging in substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, etc.)
Having unsafe sex
Gambling
Getting into fights
Running parallel to these trends, men may also try escaping into online pursuits like video games and consuming vast amounts of pornography.
3. Loss of Libido
The connection is clear. At least 25 percent of men with erectile dysfunction also have depression. This number can’t possibly account for all the men who would never report either condition. The connection manifests in many ways, e.g.
Erectile dysfunction
Inability to orgasm
Reduced sex drive
Lack of interest or arousal
4. Thoughts of Suicide
There appears to be a paradox at work. Women had double the depression rate as men. Meanwhile, four times as many men die from suicide. These statistics highlight the importance of:
Learning how to recognize depression in men
Helping men become more comfortable in asking for help
Taking men seriously when they talk about self-harm or suicide
The stakes are way too high to shrug off depression as something that’s for “weak” people. Men and women alike must commit to understanding this mood disorder and to helping themselves and others get the support they deserve.
Speaking of Support…
There is a lot more to the intersection of men and suicide than can be covered in a single post. Thus, I am inviting you to reach out with your questions and concerns as soon as possible. Let’s connect for a free and confidential consultation for depression therapy or men’s issues.
