The Stereotype of The "Positive" Strong Black Woman And How To Handle It
The “strong black woman” trope has been around for a very long time. It sounds, on the surface, like a compliment. For many black women, it’s nothing more than manipulative pressure — giving them an impossible standard to live up to. On top of that, they are expected to stay “positive” while serving as a superwoman.
To complain about a stereotype being pushed on you, in this instance, is perceived as a sign of weakness. She is not self-sacrificing. She is not willing to put others first. Day in and day out, too many black women are coerced into accepting discrimination based solely on their race and sex.
What is the Stereotype of the "Positive" Strong Black Woman?
A strong black woman tolerates no game-playing
She calls people out and holds them accountable
She nurtures others and has the strength to care for as many people as she chooses
Her own needs are met simply by her being a positive strong black woman
She’s “type A” and will outperform others (especially white men) merely to stay even with them
She is self-reliant
No-nos include crying, vulnerability, complaining, or pointing out bias
Her pain and suffering are signs of “character” but she is expected to hide her struggles
A positive strong black woman has “inner strength” and a “moral compass”
If this sounds like a movie character who is about to don a superhero outfit, you’re not far off. But unlike Hollywood fantasies, black women must wear armor simply to survive the endless barbs they are expected to shrug off.
Reality: A Blend of Sexism and Racism
Black women are told they are strong by the same folks who disparage them based on their race and sex. If they do not live up to such outside standards, they are shamed. This guilt-tripping also comes from their peers who have internalized the conditioning. Thus, the cycle feeds off itself.
As a result, research has found that black women in the U.S. will usually not seek help when overstressed, overwhelmed, or displaying symptoms of physical or emotional distress. It’s no surprise that mental health issues are on the rise for black women across the globe.
How to Handle the Stereotype of the "Positive" Strong Black Woman
For starters, the much-needed change can begin with the women who are being victimized. Black women can redefine what “strong” means through steps like:
Working in solidarity with one another instead of competing and judging
View vulnerability as a profound measure of strength and character
Prioritize self-care
Valuing their own feelings and needs
Talking openly about mental health and normalizing such conversations
Checking in on each other
That said, it would be just another form of discrimination to expect “positive strong black women” to be the only way to address this unfair stereotype. Everyone has a role to play. Like any form of prejudice, it can be shattered by people refusing to participate. When we open our minds, we easily see how unjust society can be to black women. Make conscious choices to reject this trope and give black women the support and respect they inherently deserve.
Therapeutic Support For Black Women
A powerful way to break the silence is to talk about what you’ve endured. Black women who connect with a therapist who understands are well-positioned to make the needed mindset shift. Your weekly sessions become a place to practice being vulnerable while shedding the self-blame being imposed upon you.
If you’re a black woman who is sick and tired of being painted into a corner, I invite you to reach out. Let’s connect for a free and confidential consultation to work with a Black Therapist.
