Healing From Generational Trauma Is Possible, Here's How
Families pass down much more than eye color or the sound of your laugh. They pass down stories. How we view and respond to life is very much influenced by previous generations. This has the potential to be something like courage or patience. However, you may also be a branch on a tree with roots steeped in trauma. What your parents, grandparents, and beyond endured can be inherited in the form of generational trauma.
We learn behaviors that have kept others stuck. We’re also wired with genetic pathways that can keep the cycle going. Until these patterns are challenged, they can be an invisible barrier to future generations.
Signs of Generational Trauma
Overall, a family may display trends and behaviors that could be red flags. These may include:
Hyper-vigilance: In particular, being overprotective of the youngest and oldest members of the family
Emotional numbness: Even when something extreme happens, the collective response is understated
Lack of trust: The family closes ranks, chooses social isolation, and is wary of outsiders
Denial: It’s seen as a weakness to talk about emotions
Conflict: Both within and outside the family
Unhealthy coping mechanisms: Most often, substance abuse
None of the above is meant as a judgment. Breaking a cycle is difficult work and your family members have done their best. They don’t want to pass along dysfunction but entrenched narratives can be tough to recognize.
How to Start Healing From Generational Trauma
Acceptance
Part of the reason the trauma patterns persists is an unwillingness to accept its existence. But you’re suffering from the sounds of an ancestor. It’s okay to acknowledge this. In fact, it’s a giant step towards healing.
Finding the Source
Looks for the signs listed above. Explore your family’s history. Talk with relatives who are willing and comfortable to have such conversations. Learning about your past can reveal the root causes of your family’s stuck-ness.
Grieve
Due to generational trauma, you didn’t get what you needed, and neither did the people you love. These are losses that must be grieved and processed. Feel what you need to feel and find ways to honor it. Consider creating some kind of ritual to mark what you and others have lost.
Set Boundaries
The more you learn, the more you’ll recognize your relatives’ behavior and actions. You can love them but still set boundaries. Doing the hard work of shifting a narrative requires you to free yourself from regular exposure to what it is you’re challenging. Some of your family members will not understand. Do not let this change your focus.
Practice Self Care
Healing from any type of trauma requires resilience. One way to fortify that attribute is to diligently practice self-care. It starts with the basics:
Regular sleep patterns
Healthy eating choices
Daily exercise and physical activity
But just as importantly, you’ll need to do the kind of work that supports the healing of generational trauma. Some examples might be:
Journaling: Monitoring what you learn and what you feel
Practicing gratitude: In the midst of sometimes dark work, never lose sight of your blessings
Relaxation techniques: Breathwork, yoga, meditation, and more
Do Not Go It Alone
It helps — a lot — to have trusted friends who can listen with an outside perspective. Best of all, connect with a therapist who understands your culture and heritage. In your sessions, you can focus less on explaining such nuances. Instead, you’ll be able to dive deep into the information you are unearthing and the impact it has on you.
Make no mistake, you can heal generational trauma. But this process is made much smoother with the guidance of a skilled professional. Reach out to me to learn more about trauma therapy or to learn more about men’s issues.
