How Can You Overcome Performance Anxiety?
Sometimes, we rise to the occasion. Other times, anxiety gets the better of us. Generally speaking, this is normal and inevitable. It does not indicate the presence of performance anxiety. For example, a basketball player is highly praised for hitting 40 percent of their three-point attempts. However, if you experience an intense feeling of fear and dread about accomplishing a particular task, it might be a red flag.
Performance anxiety is often a mental block on a physical act. Anyone can struggle with it at any time. Fortunately, it can be addressed and treated. Let’s explore three common forms of performance anxiety.
Stage Fright
It’s not uncommon for people to avoid being the center of attention. This is called “stage fright” but it can relate to any setting in which all eyes are on you. The resulting anxiety symptoms may include:
Hands get sweaty or ice cold
Digestive disturbances, e.g. nausea
Increased heart rate
Shortness of breath
Dry mouth
Tightening in the throat
Blurry vision
Trembling and shaking
Sexual Anxiety
Sex is far from just a physical act. Your emotions play a major role. If insecurity and anxiety enter the picture, you may find yourself very nervous about having sex. Some common reasons for such fear:
Poor body image, insecurity about your looks
Concern that you cannot satisfy your partner
Ongoing relationship issues
Women can fear that they will not orgasm or will take “too long”
Men worry about ejaculating too soon
Men also dread erectile dysfunction or not being well-endowed
Athletics and Sports
The negative term for this is “choking.” In reality, no one can always be at their best. Trouble arises when you can only visualize a lack of success. Such a fearful mindset causes physical reactions (e.g. muscle tightness) that will further hamper your ability to physically perform. You fear letting your teammates down and/or being mocked by spectators.
How Can You Overcome Performance Anxiety?
Obviously, there will be some different steps depending on your specific issue. That said, there are universal steps to consider:
Make healthy eating choices
Maintain regular sleep patterns
Get daily exercise and physical activity
Practice relaxation techniques
In addition, it can help to:
Focus on positive outcomes
Talk back to your inner critic
If the task is something like singing, giving a talk, or playing a sport, put in the work to be prepared
Accept that anxiety is present but recognize that it does not have to control you
Work to not be fixated on the performance anxiety/find balance with other activities
Develop camaraderie and rapport with your teammates or co-workers or anyone with whom you are performing
Specifically for sexual performance anxiety:
Talk openly with your partner. Let them know how you’re feeling and invite them to help you find solutions.
Explore all forms of intimacy. Satisfying sex does not imply only one or two specific acts. Commit together to a sensual and diverse experience.
Resist focusing on what is “success.” Put on some sexy music and let the experience play out naturally.
When You Feel Stuck
In many cases, performance anxiety is a temporary situation. Patience and the tips outlined above can help make it a thing of the past. However, there could be times in your life when you feel stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle. That’s when it’s best to ask for help.
Meeting with an experienced therapist is a proven path toward recovery. In the privacy of your sessions, you’ll be able to explore underlying causes and emotions. Most importantly, your therapist will guide you through the process of finding new approaches and solutions with anxiety therapy. If performance anxiety is cramping your style, feel free to contact me.
