• Christian Marriage Counseling

    Is Your Marriage At Risk Of Falling Apart?

    With the demands of life pulling you in all directions, is your marriage no longer a top priority? Over time, has your relationship become grounded in deep-seated feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, mistrust, and defensiveness? Is your marriage full of disappointment? 

    married couple holding handsBecause the honeymoon is over and responsibilities in your lives have increased—such as parenting, career advancement, or involvement within your church and community—your relationship with your spouse is no longer important. Maybe you’ve grown emotionally distant. You have no shared interests or hobbies and you no longer spend quality one-on-one time together.

    Perhaps you’re confused about your roles and responsibilities within the marriage. Each of you may have unmet needs and expectations—spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical—that result in feeling misunderstood, constant arguments, and unresolved conflict. Even though you co-exist under the same roof, you’ve lost your connection and might feel isolated, lonely, and full of regret, wishing you were single again.

    Your Personal Relationship With God May Be Affecting How You Treat Your Spouse

    If you’ve experienced infidelity within the marriage—in the form of pornography, a sexual indiscretion, or an emotional affair—one of you might be carrying the burden of excessive guilt or shame. Feeling as though you’re not worthy of forgiveness, perhaps you’re failing to accept God’s unconditional, unearned, and undeserved love and approval. Instead, this unresolved guilt and shame are fueling you to be embittered toward your spouse. As communication devolves into criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling, the close connection you once shared continues to deteriorate.

    At these times, the support of a Christian-based marriage counselor can be invaluable. Not only can they help you improve your communication skills, but Christian marriage counseling will also strengthen your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior. Once you are in alignment with God’s design for marriage, you can become a beneficiary extension of his unconditional, unearned, and undeserved love and forgiveness to your spouse.

    Marriage Takes Commitment And Devotion

    It’s no secret that for a marriage to flourish, it takes an ongoing commitment by both partners to give the relationship their steadfast love and attention. In times of conflict, couples frequently withdraw emotionally and no longer express humor, affection, and empathy to one another. Sadly, these behavior patterns often become predictors of divorce. What’s more, the average couple waits six years before seeking help for their marital problems. Unfortunately, putting off marriage counseling for too long can make reconnecting with each other all the more challenging.

    As Christians, Our Relationship With God Impacts How We Treat Our Spouse

    Life and marriage are a spiritual journey—the relationships we cultivate are imbued with God’s love. Further, Christian marriage is a reflection of Jesus Christ and the Church. Misunderstandings about the character of God and the impact of His grace—His unconditional, unearned, and undeserved love and approval—is a common dilemma we all face. When we don’t feel worthy of God’s grace, we are left with nothing to offer another person, especially our spouse.

    While we cannot dismiss the vital role of the Gospel, the truth of God’s word, and the work of the Holy Spirit, a successful marriage also requires self-awareness, emotional intelligence, healthy boundaries, and effective communication skills. In addition to practicing self-care, we need to ensure each other’s spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. For marriage to prosper, we should aim to selflessly prioritize the needs of our spouse above all others including our children, immediate and extended family, careers, and cultural influences.

    As a Christian, you want to know that the marital counseling you receive will incorporate the benefit of hands-on therapy while honoring your personal relationship with God. As Christian couples therapists, integrating faith with best practices in psychotherapy is our specialty. 

    couple on their wedding dayChristian Marriage Counseling Offers Spiritual And Therapeutic Support

    At Central Valley Christian Counsel, we believe that when you’re encouraged to go deeper in your faith, it will naturally improve your relationship. Although you cannot change your spouse, you can allow God to change you. Christian-based marriage counseling allows you to reconnect and strengthen your relationship with God and each other by granting you the freedom to be your authentic self and embrace the challenges and opportunities your marriage presents. In therapy, each of you will learn how to maintain healthy boundaries, cope with disappointment, pain and suffering, offer and receive forgiveness, live freely, and love responsibly. 

    What To Expect In Sessions

    Our Christian couples counseling includes bi-weekly 75-minute joint sessions that will alternate each week with individual coaching sessions. We operate with a “no secrets” policy, reserving the right to discuss in sessions anything disclosed to the therapist in private. Everything we do will be based on establishing, repairing, and maintaining trust in God and each other. 

    For therapy to be productive, preserving honesty, transparency, and vulnerability is essential. We strive to provide you with an empathetic, compassionate, and supportive environment—any unresolved or hidden issues that negatively impact the relationship will be addressed without judgment. 

    As Prepare-Enrich certified counselors, in addition to a mental health assessment, your Christian-based therapist will send each of you a customized, strengths-oriented assessment to complete in advance. The Prepare-Enrich assessment will generate an accurate, research-based report of your relationship strengths and growth areas to ensure we achieve tangible results. We will work collaboratively to determine what you want to accomplish in Christian marriage counseling. These shared goals will help us structure our sessions and make adjustments throughout treatment.

    We Can Help Get Your Marriage Back On Track

    When discussing topics such as finances, intimacy, work-life balance, family of origin issues, gender identity roles and expectations, or substance abuse and dependency, recognizing your ongoing need for God’s grace in your life will be an underlying foundational principle. Through increased self-awareness, personal insight, improved communication, and restored trust, you will better understand yourself and your spouse, leading to personal fulfillment and marital satisfaction. 

    Christian marriage counseling will help you see the correlation between your personal relationship with God and the impact it has on how you treat your spouse more clearly. With God’s help, you will experience the power of unity in marriage, meeting the demands of life as a team. You will also learn how to balance the practice of regular self-care with putting the needs of your spouse in front of your own.

    Under the guidance of a Christian marriage counselor, you can go from surviving to thriving in your marriage. By learning how to communicate, negotiate, compromise, and resolve conflict, you can experience healing and transformation that is grounded in realistic hope.

    But You May Wonder Whether Christian Marriage Counseling Is Right For You…

    We don’t want to share our private matters with a Christian marriage counselor.

    Your apprehension about talking to a Christian-based therapist about private issues within your marriage is understandable. However, internalizing toxic stress, pain, frustration, and other emotions—like guilt, shame, anger, and bitterness—can be detrimental to your marriage and mental health. Marriage is not intended to be lived out in secrecy and isolation. Partnering with a like-minded, unbiased Christian couples counselor who empathizes with the demands of your life is invaluable. Learning tangible skills, tools, and resources can help you sustain long-term marital satisfaction in the long run.  

    My spouse is afraid of being judged in Christian couples counseling.

    We facilitate an environment that is empathetic, compassionate, supportive, and non-judgmental. In counseling sessions, you’re allowed to be authentic, transparent, and vulnerable about your struggles. This gives us the clarity we need to prioritize and address your needs individually and as a couple. However, your physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual safety is always a priority. If your spouse’s reluctance to attend therapy stems from an abusive relationship, we strongly encourage you to seek out immediate safety for yourself. And if children are involved, they should also be protected and removed from the situation. 

    Attending counseling with a Christian couples therapist seems like a waste of money.

    couple on wedding day in field

    Our rates allow us to provide you with the highest possible standard of care. And in comparison to the astronomical financial cost of divorce, therapy is a far more affordable option. Whether this is your first time seeking out help, you’ve participated in couples counseling in the past, or you need a relationship tune-up, what you get out of Christian marriage counseling will depend on your commitment. When we work with couples who are highly motivated, coachable, and able to implement feedback and make necessary changes, healing happens and marriages are transformed.

    Your Marriage Can Thrive Within The Grace Of God

    You can feel safe and secure in your marriage when you are fully forgiven, known, loved, and accepted by God and each other. If you would like to find out more about Christian marriage counseling, please contact us today.